Confessions of a Running Mom

I have often had the internal debate as to whether or not I am a good mother. I tend to lean toward not, but that's because I hold myself up to too high of a standard.

I see stories of so many other women who do things "right". They don't fall asleep while their child is watching cartoons. They don't allow their child to cry themselves to sleep while they are crying themselves to sleep. They know exactly what their child needs before they need it and they do it with style and grace.

Yeah, that's not realistic. Every child is different and every mother is different too and when you have a child you learn along the way.

I know that having a child is much different than having a niece or a nephew, but in all honesty I think that I learned a lot from being an aunt. I learned that children fall and bounce back up and that it's usually when you show them attention and baby them that they start to cry. I learned that formula isn't going to harm your child. I learned that you're going to raise your voice, you're going to cry, you're going to want to run away.

And you're going to want to hold your child as close to you for as long as you can.

Being a good mom, to me, means:

Giving multiple warnings before administering a punishment.

Letting your child win. Most of the time.

Bribing your child with dessert so that they will eat all of their dinner.

Listening with no distractions when they tell you the most repetitive sentence ever.

Singing along to The Fresh Beat Band. And seeing them in concert more times than you have seen any of your favorite bands.

Watching Disney movies more times than you care to admit and being able to say line for line the entire movie.

Knowing where their favorite blanket or stuffed animal is at all times.

Killing spiders even when you are deathly afraid of them.

Making funny faces and not being afraid to look a damn fool in front of other people in order to make your child laugh.

Feeling overwhelmed the majority of the time.

You are constantly juggling too many things at once, but some how managing to do it.

You will finally understand your own mother and most likely apologize at some point for your own behavior as a child.

Worrying obsessively about whether or not you are doing the right thing.

Being a little late to work because she woke up and wanted you to stay home so you had to explain for the hundredth time why you have to leave every day to work.

Hearing "One last hug and kiss" seven times before it actually is the last one.

Never wanting to say goodbye.

Realizing you time is just as important as time together and that as long as you are able to find a balance there is no reason to feel guilty.

Always feeling overwhelmed and guilty even if there is a good balance.

Wondering what they are doing at school and if they are behaving.

Having a nickname for them that is special and meaningful.

Loving them so deeply that it hurts.

There are so many more reasons and things that make someone a good parent. These are just the ones I thought of now that make me feel like a good parent. They change daily and something new is added pretty much daily as well.

My daughter is my world. I love her and am so grateful that she is a part of my life. It would not be as amazing as it is without her. She is constantly surprising me and it is incredible to be able to see the world through her eyes.

I am excited to one day grow our family and to bring more love into our lives.

I am a very lucky woman, wife, daughter, sister, bonus (step) mom and mother.