Ripped in 30- Day Thirteen

I skipped the workout DVD yesterday as I had a full day scheduled. I knew this was going to have to happen, but it slipped my mind when I made my workout schedule. I know I'll be making up the workout on Saturday so I'm not worried. 

I got to work early this morning (which is becoming the normal for me during this busy time) and my good mood immediately turned bad. We had our biometric screening today for our health insurance. We had to take our height, weight and blood pressure and then give blood for further testing like cholesterol. 

I, personally, decided it would be in my best interest for my mental health to get rid of the scale months ago (more on that later). I haven't stepped on a scale in months. Instead, I have been tracking my measurements and focusing on the positives I see in my body and not on a number. I've felt better and felt less pressure to weigh a certain amount and instead focus on my relationship with food and my healthy habits, both food and exercise wise.

Today I faced my nightmare. I faced the truth. And it wasn't pretty. 

In fact, it brought me back to those feelings I had been having when I decided to get rid of the scale... 

Disappointment, frustration, disgust. 

I know that a scale does not tell the whole story, but it put me in a funky mood. Thankfully, I didn't let myself go too crazy by turning to food like I normally would have. Instead I used my walking break with my best friend to vent about my frustrations. I don't know what I would do without her and I am so lucky to have her in my life..

I knew I had to do my workout DVD when I got home, and after Tuesday's breakdown I was not looking forward to it. I told myself to just give it my all. Simple as that. Push myself and do my best. That's all I can do and that's exactly what I did. No tears, but a great workout and a good burn. 

Today marks my fourth day on plan. I've been using My Fitness Pal to track my calories and I've been feeling really good about it. It may not seem like a lot to most people, but I have been starting over daily using one form of tracking or another for over a year. A year of trying and failing. Four days in a row is HUGE to me. 

I'll get into what my plan and goals are later, but I just can't believe that I have been able to do this. I don't know why, but something clicked.. It's about damn time!